Finding The Balance

So after coming home today from an 8 hour shift I started thinking about how us mums find the balance of working being mum and beinf wife/girlfriend/friend .

I would like to say yes i have a good balance but I admit if find it incredibly hard still leaving J or if I am working early and he is at home with my partner knowing I won't see him till I get home if he isnt up before I leave.Its hard because I know have alot less time as mum than I was previously used to and miss him when I am working but I know I cant be the only mum dealing with this pull feeling of wantin to not miss a moment of their childs day but also wants to work and provide the best that they can for their child. I think the way i get through is knowing when I get home J will shout for me as soon as my key goes in the door and run to me arms wide open for that hug that lets me know yes mum i missed you too.

I always say to my friend and family about how fast J is growing up but its absolutely terrifying to think in 6 months time he will be in a nursery 2-3 days a week and then next stage will be school and my little boy won't be little for long. But i plan on building many memories for us to enjoy over the years. I came from a home where my gran was the mother to me my own mother should have been and I was my dads little girl and I want to ensure that J has the best mum and dad we can give him. Family units are something I say about alot but its the absolute truth my family I are amazing and J is going to have great cousins to grow up with aunties and uncles who adore him and be surrounded by love as he is now.

When I think on to the more recent future though I have to admit as a mother who tends to go with her gut instinct and tried and advised methods there is one thing ahead of me I am not sure how to tackle J is getting to potty training age now and I am completely thrown on how best to deal with it we have a potty which J sits on and we cheer and give him praise for doing it properly but have had no success stories as of yet and also getting him to drink cows milk is proving a push and pull battle as he really isnt keen on it we have had occasions of success but mostly he refuses it and wants his formula my only worry is as he is getting to an age where formula isnt appropriate how do I win this battle.

I am going to try and space my blog to every few days though so that this doesnt end up my online diary as unfortunately my life siply isnt that excitin lol. Also please drop some comments yours views are appreciated.

Long day.

Been feeling low today had to leave my son with family while i went to be my friends model for her course but was upsetting as he got very upset when i left him .

 Feeling very emotionally worn down but its all part n parcel of the job for example its 8pm and am sitting down for 5 minutes before going to make some tea and it reminds me of what I said in my first blog me and my partner work very hard to be all we can be for our son no matter how tired or how long our day has been we still make sure we have smiles and play time for our little man. Because above all else his happiness is our priority. I cab't wait for the weekend we have had forecast for some good weather want to enjoy it with my partner and son we deserve a nice day out.

Would love to hear your views or experiences on what its been like for you going back to work or your child going to nursery and missing you .

End of Another Day

I dont intend to over blog but as I am new wanna keep the momentum going is very pleased I have a follower on only my 2nd day blogging its been a long day though and i have made a commitment which ensures tomorrow will be an early start and a very long day as I am her guinea pig for her beauty qualification it may sound nice being pampered all day but you don't know my friend who i may add reminds me of when I was young having my hait brushed by my mum yanking at the knots :)

Which brings me nicely onto my next topic do you think people who change how they are towards  friends are fair to do so when they have had children or people who to change towards  you when you have had children yourself. See I personally don't see that I have changed towards my friends and have made clear that yes i am a mum first but I am still the same person as I was before.

I know as a parent you can get swept up in the emotional overwhelment of the first few weeks but always remember friends and family are the support tree that are there to help i know i wwould be lost without mine.

A Day Off

Today is my day off from work but as any mum knows there is no such thing its only lunchtime and I have tidied J's room twice done 2 meals and had to look after my partner who has a reall bad head and chest cold. But we do this everyday because from the moment we feel the first amazing kick we know that for the next 16-18 years we are going to be busy day in day out no sick calls no holiday breaks being a mum is  full time role and I applaud the other mums who go out and work as well when they knw the work won't stop even when they clock out of there shift.

Today J seems particularly full of beans obsessed with having me see how he crashes his cars and the lovely arrangement of cereal he made on the carpet as I grabbed a shower. I love my son to peices and going back to work was made possible because of great support from my family and my partner.

But I am not going to kid anyone I am not a model mum as this blog is titled I make sure I am still true to myself as well as givin J all he needs. I am a regular tweeter and facebook user I have a personal account and a twilight fan page account on twitter and I am a avid Liverpool FC Fan from as far back as I can remember. No idea how it came to be as I come from a family that loves rugby. 

I have a great passion for reading that I hope to pass on to my son as he is keen on browsing books and having story time and like most mums of my age my reading loves are majoritivly the harry potter collection and the twilight saga.

I am really just going to be sharing about me my thoughts and views on being a mummy and also the challenges I face aswell as sharing the importance of what its meant for me to make sure I get to still be me and not morph into wanna be model mum.

I hope my blog will intrest people as I am still new as where to go with my posts but all I can be is me.

well here goes

So I have seen a lot  about blogging and how it generally works so I have decided to take on blogging and see if its something to go along with. I am a 22 year old girl from wales in the UK I have the most amazing son god could have given me and live with my boyfriend  Gaz. But its been tough and one reason I wanted to blog was because i having only recently gone back to work was a full time mum and am driven mad by all these shows on about girls getting pregnant and not taking on the responsibility not on the girls but the guys as well. I was terrified when I first found out I was pregnant but then  I looked into what stage pregnancy I was at and I was overwhelmed that I was carrying a tiny life inside me my partner Gaz was supportive and we decided that we were going to give our baby everything we could regards the problems along the way money where to live all these things were stuff we would just deal with because we were going to be parents.

I had a relatively simple pregnancy till I hit 28 weeks and started getting intense itching all over to the point where i could barely sleep after a blood test i was found to have obstetric cholostesis a blood condition caused by and overactive liver function. This condition only occurs during pregnancy and carried serious threat to my sons life. I was so shocked to hear the risks of miscarriage brain damage and still birth and was put on medication which helped but didn't solve the problem my acid levels shot up and in the end I had to be induced at 35 weeks pregnant i was terrified having only been told the decision 2 days before I also panicked as we were moving into our new home and was worried how we would get ready for a baby in such a short time.

But thankfully all went well i was in labour 3 hours and had an assisted forceps birth due to my little man was born scaring us all with his heart rate dropping he was born 5lb 2.5oz and was too small for all his clothes but to my great relief he was OK. The next few weeks were hard adjusting to being a mum i went through highs and lows at one point being viciously reported for supposedly not caring for my baby a claim that social workers immediate agreed was a result of malice toward me.

J is now a few weeks away from 2 and has got a new partner in crime a Labrador that joined our family at Christmas in this blog i will be blunt i will speak my mind but i will also hope to make people aware of the condition i had when pregnant and also just what its like for a working mum doing all she can for her little boy and her relationship and finding the balance to enjoy life enjoy her son and enjoy her man